So, apparently I read a lot. But this is because I read FAST™ instead of actually having proper time to read. I made a list of times during the day that you can read.
See? I’m helpful and you should definitely ignore the other days on which I was supposed to post and I haven’t.
Also, slight update: I will be changing my posting schedule to Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday! I will also probably sometimes post in between if I have a review that I need to post or something related.
1. Read During Class
And if you’re not in school, then you can just read during work! See, there are many variations #flexible. And if you don’t work, then… read!
And… you know, if you get fired or kicked out of the classroom, YOU’LL HAVE MORE TIME TO READ. See? I aM helpful.
(Okay FINE I don’t read in class because my parents would kill me but HALLWAYS ARE STILL THERE. #Smart)
2. Read While Eating
Eating = good
Reading = good
I DON’T SEE THE PROBLEM HERE.
(Unless you were to… spill food onto the book and stain the pages, but you’re a responsible bookworm, right? RIGHT?)
A handy dandy list of things that you should NOT eat when you’re reading:
- Ramen or noodles of any kind (Slurping! Is! A! Problem!)
- Wet foods
- Foods that require eating with both hands
- Foods that require eating with one hand
- Foods that have hands
- WHY DO YOU HAVE FOOD WITH HANDS THAT’S NOT GOOD (this does not, of course, count things such as legs. legs are fine.)
Eat some crackers with solid cheese or something. Saltines are A++
3. Read While Walking
Cite the first reason. I READ IN THE HALLWAY.
But have I slammed into several walls in a day? NO. Only, like two.
WHY WOULD YOU WALK when you can READ and WALK, huh? Huh? It’s EXERCISE and also reading. And reading is good. Because usually in hallways there are people and times for socializing and haha #no.
4. Read While You’re Doing Your Homework
OR, if you don’t go to school, then read when you’re supposed to be doing work or something else productive. Because reading is productive. Very, very productive. You are getting through your TBR. *nods*
5. Read While You’re Blogging
Do you have a blog post that you need to write today?
Do you have some ideas and approximately zero words in your draft?
Then sit back and read. It will give you ideas and inspiration for a new post, of course!!
Probably. Maybe. Or it will just make you late for writing your post and end up making you postponing it to two days later.
Oh, and I DON’T DO THIS. I write my posts every day like a responsible blogger BECAUSE I am a responsible blogger. One who definitely does NOT read when she is supposed to be blogging. She also sometimes talking in third person, which is also not weird.
6. Read While You Watch TV
Step 1. When you are about to watch your favorite show with other people, bring a book!
Step 2. When something happens, lift up your head and ask everyone what just happened.
Step 3. Annoy everyone.
Or, better yet, turn off the TV and read! Because you’ll probably end up not listening to the TV at all and just reading and you might miss the VERY VERY important facts that are vital to the episode. I am telling you this for your own safety, folks. Trust me.
7. Read While You Hang Out With Your Friends
Whenever you go to a hangout/cult meeting/summoning of spirits/party, take a book with you and when you arrive there, sneak away so that you can peek in the book.
Or if they’re complaining that you don’t give them any attention, DON’T HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS and stay inside the house and just read.
Just be a hermit.
See? Simple. Friends aren’t necessary *sobs*
I am very very smart.
8. Read While You’re Browsing Books In A Bookstore
See? If you’re unsure on whether or not you want to buy a book, then read the first chapter to see if you like it!
Or, better yet, read the whole thing right then and there and you don’t even have to buy it! (Those corporate stores had it coming, didn’t they.)
Be in awe of my incredible ideas.
9. Read When You Should Sleep
Who needs sleep when you can devour books?
Sure, you might mess up your sleep cycle which is vital to your health. But would you rather find out who the villain is OR have a healthy lifestyle?
I thought so.
A list of things that you handily can use for light:
- A flashlight
- The light in your room (!!!)
- Fire. Just light a fire in your room.
- (For Greek Gods/Goddesses) Turn into your true form and use your heavenly light to read. You might burn the book when you try to turn the pages, so you can just… reread the two pages that you are on right now.
I was going to do a Percy Jackson gif but the movie and like #no.
Read While You’re Summoning The Dead
Hahahahahaha how did this get here. I most definitely do NOT summon the dead.